Accepting that I can’t do everything
We’re 12 days into 2015, and instead of feeling inspired and motivated to meet my goals, I’m sitting in front of my computer tonight feeling all sorts of inadequate. Wait, wasn’t I just writing a hopeful and happy post a couple days ago? Yes, yes I was.
It’s a mix of insecurity, envy and frustration—a swirling jumble of wishes and wants and general irritation that I can’t do everything well. In fact, there are very few things that I do really well, and I’m not sure why those aren’t good enough in my mind.
As much as I would like to say that I’m completely above feeling pangs of envy when I look at other blogs or Instagram accounts, I’m totally not. I mean, I guess at some point I just have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll never live in an all-white house where every single room has perfect lighting and is completely devoid of clutter. Seriously, I need to hang it up because no.
And then, right in the middle of my ridiculous self-doubt, I feel a strong urge to slap myself in the face. Look at the time I am wasting and the negative thoughts that I’ve allowed to infect my mind.
My life is imperfect. My house is a mess. I do not do all my shopping at our local farmer’s market. I definitely don’t do everything well and I struggle through times of insecurity and even self-loathing.
I also don’t have a nice neat bow to wrap this post up with. Life is flux, it’s undulating and I think as long as we can navigate and work our way through the negative moments, it’s all good.