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Dear Crissy - Life, blogged.

Is it okay to brag about your child?

Have I told you that I have the smartest, sweetest, most adorable toddler on earth?

Oh, I have? Well, have I mentioned that at 18-months-old, he is speaking in short sentences, he can say the alphabet, count to ten, and sing beautifully about the Itsy Bitsy Spider? In fact, Evan was showing signs of early verbal skills at 2-months-old. He is truly gifted.

Brag about your kid

I could go on, and on, but I do wonder… should I?

At what point does bragging about your child become obnoxious, and, should you care? Is it insensitive to brag when you can’t be sure what challenges other moms may be facing within their own families?

Best kid ever!

My mother always told me, with pride, that I was walking by the time I was 9-months-old. I didn’t really have an expectation of when Evan should start walking, but when the mothers in the forum I am a member of began exclaiming that their babies were walking at 9, 10, and 11 months (Evan walked at 12-months, by the way), I can recall feeling the smallest twinge of envy, because my little guy seemed nowhere near reaching that milestone.

It was really the same story for rolling over, sitting up, and pulling up, too. Evan was certainly not behind in these areas, in fact, he was perfectly average, but let’s just say he wasn’t the first baby on the block to reach the physical milestones.

Comparisons are harmful

Isn’t it just completely ridiculous to be concerned about your child’s milestones, as if it’s some kind of race? I do my best to push those thoughts out of my mind, because trust me, I KNOW that every child is special, unique, and will develop in his or her own sweet time.

Still, being honest, there are probably some threads of competitiveness, even if they live in the back of my mind.

I think most parents do some bragging about their children, it’s really just natural when you are so intensely focused on this little person. I mean, look! I had some part in the creation of this amazing human being!

I also think in a round about way, it’s a means of bragging about yourself, without actually bragging about yourself.

Narcissistic? Absolutely.

Is it just natural to brag about your child? Do you ever find yourself annoyed when parents go on and on about their child’s accomplishments?

I would love to hear your thoughts, and feel free to do a little bragging of your own.

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76 Comments

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  1. February 7, 2011 @ 1:43 am

    I’m not a mom (yet) but I do get a tad annoyed at mothers who go on incessantly about their child. While it is wonderful they’re thrilled with their child’s accomplishments it gets borderline obnoxious when the *only* thing they ever seem to talk about is their little one. I’ve seen *some* moms forget who they were before children and become this never-ending verbal overload on how great their kid is. It’s almost like they’re busy trying to out-do other moms. I don’t get it.

    Maybe I’ll think differently when I am a mom but like other things in my life I’ll be excited about like my personal achievements, my spouse’s achievements, other major (or even not so major) events there’s a line to be drawn. It’s okay once in awhile but don’t overdo it or make it seem like your kid is better than someone else’s kid or that the only thing you talk about is your kid.

    REPLY
    • February 7, 2011 @ 1:55 am

      It was very easy for me to forget who I was before I had my child, because honestly, I feel that my life was far less significant before I was this kid’s mom.

      It’s funny because I don’t really remember ever being annoyed at parents bragging about their kids before I was a mom, I was just indifferent. I didn’t really hear it at all.

      It’s just different when you have someone in front of you doing monumental, life-changing, things every day. Watching a human learn to be a human is pretty profound, and it’s not like it ever gets old. When you have a kid, it’s literally like you are born again as well. It’s pretty wild! :)

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      • February 7, 2011 @ 2:03 am

        Well, for the record I am pretty sure of who I am, child or no child. I don’t forget “me” because I remind myself of the person I am as often as I can. I don’t need a child to define me much like I don’t need my marriage to define me. My marriage is a part of me but it does not define me.

        I can’t begin to say what being a mom is like other than being a birth mother (long story on that) but I do know at least something about motherhood.

        I guess I’m much more of a straightforward realist who doesn’t get into the sappy, cliche side of being a mother. My husband and I joke that our child will be demon spawn. Some mothers will gasp and call us horrible for such a sentiment but we’d rather have fun than be all cutesy wootsey about parenthood.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 2:18 am

        I didn’t say that I don’t know who I am. I said that it was easy to forget who I was. When you become a mother, you are no longer who you were. You are changed. Regardless of any woman’s experience, I would say that most mothers would agree with me on that. Not all, but most. It’s not a change you can even fathom until it happens to you.

        I am never sure whether to be insulted, or just laugh when people imply that becoming a mother means that you lose your identity, or that your sense of self is diluted because you have a huge focus and adoration for your child.

        I don’t think that having children is for everyone, or that having a child is necessary for happiness and fulfillment. I also don’t think that everyone’s experience of motherhood is as “sappy and cliché” as mine. My experience is certainly sappy and cliché. In fact, I have found motherhood to be true of all its clichés. It is deep, beautiful, and all-consuming.

        I don’t think that having a child makes a person better than another. But, it makes me better than I was.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:58 am

        Life in general changes you.

        Major moves, graduations, marriage, death, divorce, etc. All of these CHANGE us, having a child is just one more of the many, many changes we experience in life. Granted the difference is that a child is a living and breathing thing but it’s still just one more change in life that we all adapt to and either enjoy or don’t.

        Read my comment below about having given birth. Yes, I am a mother and HAVE created life and you know, in many ways it did change me. But 11 years later other major life events have changed me too.

        One life change does not supersede other life changes, at least I don’t think so. And let me tell you, I’ve been through several major changes in the past 10 years.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 2:28 am
        kimmylooloo

        I don’t mean to be rude but you shouldn’t comment on this blog unless you have actually had children because you have no idea what you are talking about. Check back after you have miraculously created life in your womb and watched while life was breathed into his or her body. Just sayin

      • February 7, 2011 @ 2:36 am

        To be fair, I did ask if kid-bragging was annoying, and everyone is welcome to chime in!

        That said, yes, making and raising babies is pretty amazing, right? :)

      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:54 am

        And that, Kimmylooloo, is what bugs me about *some* of you moms. You take such a holier than thou approach to being a mother and get up on a self-righteous high horse like I couldn’t POSSIBLY know what it’s like. With all due respect, please get over yourself. I have given birth and unfortunately, I am not raising that child but it does NOT make me less of a mother.

        You say you don’t mean to be rude but that was arrogant and condescending as all get out. You’re a mother. Wonderful. So am I. As I said, I just have not had the chance to raise my child. Step down off the high horse, please.

        Crissy, my apologies. Comments like that rub me the WRONG way. I’m trying to have a civil discussion and refrain from being rude. I have a link to my other blog that tells the story of my having a child but I don’t want to link (spam?) unless it is okay with you. It’s an eye opener, at least I think so.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 12:09 pm

        Kim, I don’t mind if you link-up.

        I really think Kimmylooloo was only chiming in because of your tone and the insinuation that you lose a part of your identity when you have a kid (and we do, I think, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing). While what you said was definitely civil, it could be read as condescending too. At least, it felt that way to me.

        If you’ve had a child, then you’re in the same club, but with a different experience, and that’s cool. I’m sure there are so many complexities of experience in motherhood that we could go on all day and never scratch the surface.

        I was asking for opinions here, and welcome yours, I just think the feeling that someone is “holier than thou” goes both ways, especially when you are saying things like “*some* of you moms” like we’re members of an outlaw gang LOL.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 12:48 pm

        I only put it in asterisks to be able to emphasize my point since I can’t italicize. In my experiences I have been around some moms who do act holier than thou towards non-mothers. No disrespect or self-righteousness on my part. Just putting in my two cents as a [sorta] non-mother.

        The link to my post is here:

        http://www.lifeasafoodie.com/2011/01/on-road-to-parenthood-part-1.html

        Thanks for a wonderful discussion. As to be expected, actual tone cannot be entirely picked up on through words read on a screen. Please know I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone. I just don’t care for comments like, “Check back when…” It’s very condescending and self-righteous, at least in my opinion.

      • February 8, 2011 @ 11:14 am
        Becca

        I just wanted to say that I think being a mother, no matter how you came to be one, will change your life!! I didn’t have the opportunity to create life in my womb, but I have had the opportunity to adopt my babies and motherhood has completely changed my life and my priorities.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 2:51 am

        These are all very easy things to say until you have a child. /smiles I remember the days when I thought the same thing. I had this idea of how I was going to be and actually never liked kids before getting pregnant…

        … and then I had my son Cody and he was my whole wide world, there was nothing but him and I was no one before I became a Mother. My son made me something special without having done anything to brag about.

        When you carry a life inside of you for nine months, you feel that life expanding and your emotions/hormones and body expanding and contracting to allow room for that life… you change. Everything about you changes.

        And quite frankly, anyone who doesn’t give up part of themselves and their lives selflessly for their child(ren) shouldn’t have children in my opinion. Once you choose to become a parent you choose to do everything in your power and give EVERYTHING, everything, everything you have to make sure they are taken care of and loved. Everything… and sometimes that means even yourself.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 3:05 am
        kimmylooloo

        I am not a sappy mom who gushes about my kids all day but I am definitely not the same person that I was before I had kids. I am better…not because my kids define me but because I have been shown what it is to love something more than I love myself, which in turn has made me a better person. The vulnerability that comes from loving a child is only something that can be experienced, not explained.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:05 am

        Marriage is VERY different from motherhood. My husband and I lived together for a few years before tying the knot. It was great to be married and no longer be “living in sin” in the eyes of our parents, but it didn’t change a lot.

        But motherhood… completely changes who you are as a person. I thought I knew who I was in my heart before I became a mother, but once my child entered my world, I not only had different priorities about how I wanted to live my life, but my sense of who I am completely changed. I am a completely different person than I was right up until the day before my son arrived, and that time in my life is like a very, very distant memory. My life began anew when my son was born.

        While I’m definitely am a different version of the person I used to be, I wouldn’t say that my child completely “defines” me. He has, though, influenced my life, my dreams, and my desires in ways I never could have imagined before I became a mom.

      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:50 am

        Agree, no offense to my husband, but getting married and having a baby are not in the same league. lol.

  2. February 7, 2011 @ 1:43 am

    been there, done that. every child is different, and no one should be upset if their child doesn’t walk at 8 mos or speaking early. my son didn’t walk til around 15 mos..he ran actually, but his verbal skills were way above at a lot younger, my girls both walked around 8 mos and while one daughter had quicker language skills, the other didn’t. i do think that at some point it can get super obnoxious. what i don’t think those that are bragging left and right are doing is that they are causing insecurities in other mothers that are not necessary. if anything, we need to be more supportive and say, ‘well, every child is different..and that’s okay.’ all my kids are older now: 23, 14, 12 and my stepson is 16. omgosh…all of my stepson’s family brag so much about his abilities that he has an overinflated ego lol all i want to do is pop it :o/ is that bad? but i guess you can see what i’m saying…cos after a child keeps hearing who fabulous they are, they feel the need to keep up to that expectation. my stepson is hard on himself because of how my husband & his ex raised him, but he also says he can be better than anyone at anything. it’s quite amusing lol

    REPLY
    • February 7, 2011 @ 2:20 am

      I agree. Parents sometimes over-praise children even when they did a “less than par” job. Children need to learn failure as well.

      But, that’s a bit off-topic.

      In reply to the post, yes, I think it can being annoying if it’s done distastefully. For example, people who are “one-uppers”…their child always has ‘one up’ on yours. Their child has always done something bigger, better, & quicker than yours.

      But, I certainly brag on my child…maybe too much. After all, he is pretty smart & an absolute doll. ;) However, I’d never try to make anyone feel beneath me (or my child) though, and I think there are moms out there who do just that.

      REPLY
      • February 7, 2011 @ 2:25 am

        I agree totally on the one-upping, not nice!

  3. February 7, 2011 @ 3:10 am
    Marlow

    I think when anyone is passionate about something, they want to tell the world about it! I’m not a mother myself however when I sit with my girlfriends who do have children, to see their faces light up about their children is priceless! I have seen the ups and downs to parenthood through family, friends & co-workers. It’s not really about that, it’s about passion. I feel anyone who talks about something with passion should be able to let it fly! Of course I wouldn’t interrupt my friend’s story and go into a boasting banter, but who does that anyway? If you talk about something with honest passion and your whole conversation with the person is a two way street, there is no way you can come off as being a “one upper” or obnoxious in any manner. What I have learned over the years is you cannot surround yourself with people who do no embrace your passions. Therefore if you have a friend or someone in your life that you feel is “bugged” by you talking about your child’s accomplishments, your career’s highlights, your big day, your trip to somewhere you’ve dreamed about, etc. you need to re-evaluate that person’s placement in your life. While I have no idea what it’s like to have a child, it’s wonderful to celebrate my friend’s experiences of being a mother.

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    • February 7, 2011 @ 10:32 am

      This is such a fabulous comment! It truly is about passion. My son is definitely a passion of mine and I think that my friends who don’t have kids can feel that passion when I speak about how excited I am about the amazing things my child is doing now. It’s not always about being a braggart or boasting, it’s discussing something that I feel passionate about, and because it happened to my child, it’s a major event in MY life too. And thankfully my friends love me and love my son as well, so they’re always excited to hear the latest updates, just as I’m always thrilled to hear what’s new in their lives as well.

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      • March 16, 2011 @ 6:06 pm

        I agree, that is a wonderfully well-said comment. We are all passionate about our kids, I can’t imagine parenthood without passion. And you are absolutely right, Marlow, if people don’t appreciate your passion for your kids, then it’s time to reevaluate their place in your (and your kids’) lives. Besides, nobody will ever adore our kids the way we do or feel that passion for them that parents do, so if we can’t shout from the rooftops about their accomplishments, who will?

    • February 7, 2011 @ 11:20 am

      unfortunately, there ARE people who interrupt and goes into a boasting banter. i’ve experienced it, not only with myself but with other people. it’s quite irritating. it’s okay to talk about what your kids accomplish as long as it doesn’t go overboard. not that this has anything to do w babies & toddlers: there is this one mom who really disliked how my stepson knew everyone and that he’s great at sports, then she goes on about her sons (which really aren’t that great cos i have seem them play sports)..she didn’t see my husband near by when registering for high school 2 yrs ago and hubs said that when she saw how everyone was acknowledging my stepson, she said, ‘I wonder if he pays these kids to like him.’ Hubs was a little pissed. There are even some sports dads who get catty & talk crap. it’s so funny how the one-upmanship and bragging continues on even after the babies accomplish all the cute stuff.

      anyways, it’s one thing to talk about something with passion, it’s another to be a showoff or braggart.

      also i have to say, and some may not notice this until their kids are older like mine, but some parents are not realistic about their kids’ abilities. they exaggerate quite a bit, and when their kid is not the ‘star’ or don’t get to play enough, they get really upset about it. i always tell my kids that i’m proud of what they accomplish, to always work hard at whatever they do, but to know there is always someone somewhere that could be or probably is better. no one did that with my stepson so he takes rejection and failure pretty hard when it happens. :o/

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      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:46 am

        I think exaggeration is just part of it, too. I am sure I exaggerate. Quite sure. I don’t think it’s necessarily my job to give a fair and balanced review of my kid, because you know, he’s MY KID… and he is superamazingyouknow?

      • February 7, 2011 @ 2:36 pm

        i’ve got a feeling you’re far from an exaggerator :o), because trust me, i have SEEN some. it isn’t pretty lol i don’t think you are anything like the parents that i deal with. i talk about my kids and think they’re super amazing, too, but i keep it real. sometimes my hubs hates how straightforward i am, but i guess that comes with being OLD LOL

        btw i do like hearing when friends kids accomplish something or if they’re talented at something, i was just saying i don’t like the parents who take it a step too far. i wish you could see the parents at the high school football games; the ones who are trying to live through their kids. :o/

      • February 7, 2011 @ 3:31 pm

        I am happy with my toddler phase and swapping stories with moms about how well our kid is using their sippy cup! lol I kind of dread the sports competition, I am sure that does get ugly!

  4. February 7, 2011 @ 3:31 am

    I sound just like you when I talk about my kids! Children are definitely amazing (especially mine! lol). Okay, seriously now, I do find myself more aware of what I say about my kids when I’m talking to people that have kids themselves. I try really hard to not to compare milestones or when I do it’s to reassure the other parent that every child is different by giving an example. Now if someone asks me about my kids, all bets are off and I will talk their ear off! ;-)

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  5. February 7, 2011 @ 3:40 am

    I was the best mother ever before I had children. Really. I even had a degree in child development and taught parenting classes. Of course after I had children I realized how ridiculous I was, but at the time, I was totally unaware.

    Humiliation has since become my friend.

    My opinion with bragging is save it for the grandparents, they are the only ones who care. Moms I know who brag often have very few friends. (And as all moms know, friends are quite valuable in the early years! :) )

    REPLY
    • February 20, 2011 @ 1:30 am
      Kim M

      Your comment about saving it for grandparents is so true. My daughter-in-law in another state texts me all the time with the cute things they say or how much they have grown or pictures of the funny things they do or things they make. Something probably only close relatives would enjoy hearing. My other daughter-in-law tells me when my 3 year old grandson waved or clapped for the first time and how excited I was to tell others because it was such a big accomplishment for him because he is Autistic. I am the mother of 5 grown children who still talks about their accomplishments or skills when they were younger if the subjects ever come up in a conversation. Now as for grandchildren I could talk about them all day.

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  6. February 7, 2011 @ 3:54 am
    Saartje

    BRAGGING IS A WAY OF DEALING WITH INSECURITIES.

    I don’t get all the bragging, actually. And yes, it annoys me. It starts right from birth with asking if the baby sleeps through the night, and just gets worst and more annoying. I like to say my children are beautiful and that I love them, but bragging, no. Actually, when other mums are going on about how smart and wonderful their kids are, I try to insert certain phrases in the conversation. For example: “Mary was 18 months before she started walking. The doctor was quite concerned.” (we were not, she’s a normal kid, slow to start walking) or “Peter still doesn’t count to 10, at age 4, and he mumbles and when he gets exited he stutters” or even “We’re so glad Mary doesn’t bite her brother anymore, now she just bites, pinches and pulls his hair”. I love the horrified and pitying looks I get.

    But serious now, I think when mums brag about their children, they are not really trying to brag, about their children, or themselves. THEY ARE TRYING TO CONTROL THEIR FEAR THAT THEIR CHILD MIGHT NOT BE STRONG ENOUGH TO MEET ALL THE CHALLENGES IN LIFE. By telling themselves (and others) over and over that their children have superpowers (be it in motor skills, communication or social skills), they are trying to tell themselves that their children will be ok, that they will be able to fend for themselves. Those mums are not full of themselves and their children, they are just a bit insecure.

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    • February 7, 2011 @ 8:58 am

      Wow, do you really believe that?

      I am definitely afraid that Evan won’t be strong enough to meet all the challenges of life, because hey, life is ROUGH, and scary, and hard for everyone.

      I am insecure FOR SURE, no question about it. I started being insecure the moment I found out he was pregnant. Having a kid is the scariest, most terrifying thing in the world.

      I don’t think that bragging about how well he sings Itsy Bitsy Spider is a symptom of that. LOL.

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    • February 7, 2011 @ 2:47 pm

      bull crap. life is tough and all we can do as parents is prepare them as best as we can for being on their own, but kids still have to learn to do things without us. there are some parents who try to live the life they wanted, but never got, through their children..those are the braggers & exaggerators.

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  7. February 7, 2011 @ 6:48 am

    I think it’s important to remember that people do get annoyed with it, but also important to be true to yourself. Yes, it’s okay to brag about your child, but then put a lid on it. There’s a difference in saying, “Hey my child did (whatever) and I’m so excited about it” and going on for 20 minutes about it. Every mom thinks their kids are the best thing that ever happened to the planet… I know I do. People get confused with my bragging unless they know my oldest child has special needs because she doesn’t look like she does. I’ll be overjoyed about something she said that would match a three year old’s skills and people are looking at her photo like…what? She’s seven!

    It’s also important to remember to celebrate your victories without making other moms feel as you mentioned that we’re all in a race and they’re losing. We ALL do that whether we should or not. Be sure when you brag not to make it come out like, “Hey my kid is better than yours because of this.” We all think our kids are better than every other kid. It would be weird if we didn’t. Let’s just not make it come across that way to others. Tone of voice can’t be read so we have to be particularly careful what we write and how it’s coming across.

    We all should remember too as you said that our kids are special and unique in their own way. Your Evan is talking early, my Essie (16 months) walked early but isn’t talking much past babbling. They’re both special for different reasons:) God bless.

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  8. February 7, 2011 @ 7:54 am

    I’m just a Mom. I don’t remember what I did before I became a Mom. Don and I were married 8 years when Gracie was born and we had tried to have a baby for so long. I know I brag/and talk about Gracie A LOT, but so do my other friends. We just get together and have a big ol’ brag session I guess. But it doesn’t bother any of us. This is our normal. When I’m around women that don’t have children, I don’t seem to talk about Gracie as much, unless they ask- but I think that’s because I just don’t have as much in common with them.

    I quit working when Gracie was 6 months old because I know that a lot of Moms continue to work, that was just my choice. I was older when we had Gracie and we were blessed by Don’s job, so it was easier for me to quit. We had to make a lot of adjustments budget wise, but we have made it. I just didn’t want to miss anything. She is 9 now and I’m so glad I did have that time with her. Although I have chosen not to go back to my “regular” job as a Respiratory Therapist because of “on call duty”, I have begun to sub at Gracie’s school part time.

    Basically- I’m a Mom and I brag and it doesn’t bother me when others brag about their kiddo’s.

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  9. February 7, 2011 @ 8:55 am

    I think it’s normal and fine to say “my child does this and this” but when you’re making someone feel bad about it is when you’ve crossed a line. Like a friend of mine said to another friend “She isn’t sitting up yet? Oh I forgot my baby is so advanced” (when really she isn’t. It’s ridiculous.

    As for my bragging :) Austin has a vocab of 30 words (big words too, like Basketball…) and he is 14 months. He also says some small sentences (like I Love Mama, Bye Bye Daddy, and something else, I forget…). But he isn’t walking yet, or showing signs of caring to LOL But I will take what I can get! I love his words!

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  10. February 7, 2011 @ 9:04 am

    My Will (who turns 3 in a couple week *tear*) was always kind of a stubborn baby. He never did anything until he was good and ready. But when he did it was like a light switch. 6 months, wouldn’t sit by himself… in 1 day, he went from 10 seconds to 20 minutes. Same with eating, sleeping, talking, walking, and now potty training. So I learned a long time ago that I wasn’t going to worry about everyone else’s milestones. I know parents that pushed their kids to be potty trained by 1, so they could brag about that and the kid still has accidents and fights it. I waited, took 3 days and he’s done. Being the first to do something isn’t always the best.

    As for the bragging. We all do that, because we want people to be as proud of our kids as we are. Which most grandparents/godparents are. I think it’s natural to do it and unless you see the other people rolling their eyes. I say go for it. I just try and make sure that I don’t get into the 1-upping others. That is when it gets to the point of obnoxious.

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  11. February 7, 2011 @ 9:22 am

    I think every parent is entitled to a little bragging, for whatever reason! But, I’ve known so many parents that just go too far. One friend of mine has posted their childs report card numerous times, thru email and a link on Facebook, because they got straight A’s, and are taking excelled classes at 10. Now, I’d love it if my child had those grades, but unfortunetly, he doesn’t! I’m proud of him for what he achieves, and tell him all the time. I also “brag” to my family, but wouldn’t post his report card on FB! To me, it does seem like she’s looking for that assurance that Yes, you are a good parent! You must be, your child gets good grades!
    Well, to each his own, but I’ve witnessed a few “High Honor Roll” students that got into High school and went another direction! They had great parents, hung out with a good crowd, and then changed in an instant!
    I won’t keep rambling, but like I said before, I do think every parent has a right to brag, but how much and where you’re doing it should be taken into consideration!

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  12. February 7, 2011 @ 9:50 am
    becky

    I think it is fine to brag as long as you aren’t doing it to hurt anyone’s feelings. Its natural. It is your baby. You are so proud of the things they accomplish. It is amazing. I don’t get annoyed when my friends brag about their kids, I know how it feels to feel so overwhelmed with joy and being proud of your children. It makes me happy to see other parents really INTO their kids (I am a young mom, I just turned 25 3 weeks ago and I have a 5 year old and 2.5 year old) so in my circle of friends I have seen a lot of not so good parents.

    Some of the childs skills are just there from birth and some can be enhanced with the parents help, you’re putting working into it…brag away!

    I am very proud that my now (almost) 5 year old has been able to write the alphabet since he was 2.5 and has been able to write words on his own by sounding it out since he was 3.5. Part of that is him being a smart boy and part of that is me seeing that in him and encouraging it. I do a lot of “school” with him where we practice skills he needs for life. He loves it and so do it.

    brag away!

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  13. February 7, 2011 @ 10:16 am

    Hi Crissy,

    Love this post! I don’t think I am constantly talking, or “bragging”, about my LO, he just turned 1. But I do catch myself at times sounding like one of those mothers ;-) Which, I guess, means, I am one of those mothers! But when you’ve been through pregnancy, childbirth, and the early months of up-all-night-changing-12-diapers-a-day, I think we have earned the priviledge of bragging, just a little ;-)

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  14. February 7, 2011 @ 10:40 am

    To a certain degree, ‘bragging’ is okay. There are some moms, however, who think that their child is THE best, THE only child who can ____, and that no one will ever compare to their awesomeness. There are some moms, like my self, who have plenty to brag about… but when we can’t a word in because another mom is too busy basically telling us that our child aren’t good enough, it’s a little hard to celebrate with others. It’s also hard when your child has neurological or physical delays (like my son)… I can brag all I want, but the moms and dads with typically developing children don’t see the excitement in FINALLY walking at 25 months, or FINALLY being potty-trained at freaking 5 years old. They don’t get it, their child is perfect, mine is “slow” or “behind”, so while I might brag about him, it’s to the people that understand (family, close friends, and other special needs parents).

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    • February 7, 2011 @ 10:50 am

      Mandi, I get that! I have a couple of amazing kiddos in my family with special needs (niece and nephew), and while I recognize that they may not be doing things on the same schedule as other kids (screw the schedule), I still think their victories are super brag-worthy and need to be championed!

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      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:28 am

        You’re right, they do need to be celebrated. There are just people that give you this funny look when you DO brag and you can tell they are thinking, “Uhm, my kid did that at __months/years… what’s wrong with your kid?”. They could be completely silent yet you know exactly what they are thinking.

        Here’s my brag… my kiddo is turning 6 in May, he’s about to be a big brother on March 25th, and has FINALLY… FINALLY (screaming that last one) potty-trained to the point where he is wearing UNDERWEAR (and he’s quite picky on what characters he wants to wear) ALL DAY, to stores and everything. NO accidents for WEEKS now!!!!!!! *dance* So what it took this long, what matters is that HE did it! :)

      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:38 am

        Three cheers for potty training, man, that is great! Good job Mom!!!!!!!

        Wait, big brother on March 25th?? You have to start ALL OVER! :) #dontenvythat!

      • February 7, 2011 @ 11:42 am

        Yep! It really does feel like starting over since there’s an almost 6-year gap between them, and we of course got rid of EVERYTHING baby related years ago and have had to go buy everything! Gah! :)

  15. February 7, 2011 @ 11:33 am

    I use to get super envious of moms who’s kinds were walking, talking, singing, juggling before mine. Ok not juggling but you know what I mean. It took me four kids tobrealize that every kid is seriously different. One of my kids started walking at 13 1/2 months while another was walking at 10 months .

    My 17 month old seems to be more advance than my other girls (but I think it has to do with her having bigbsisters) and my sister who has a daughter the same age is always wondering why HER daughter isn’t saying this or doing that.

    I say who cares. If your chid(ren) is reaching milestones , is healthy and happy. Who really cares if they can walk at 13 months and not 9. Who cares if they can’t count to 10 when someone else’s kid can. We as parents should be doing our best to teach our kids not just those simple things that yes they will learn eventually, but also things that seem to be thinning away these days, respect, morals, faith, etc. When my 17 month old closes her eyes, bows her head and holds our hands at the dinner table, that’s when I feel like bragging to the world that I am doing SOMETHING right!

    And when my kids are adults and hopefully don’t hit too much trouble on the way, THEN I can absolutely say wow my girls have turned out to be wonderful kids and WE raised them. We should be focusing nore on raising them to be good people rather than fochsingbon whether or not they can say the ABC’s at 2 years old.

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  16. February 7, 2011 @ 11:35 am

    Eh so sorry for all the bad spelling. I’m on my iPad, it’s harder to write. :)

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  17. February 7, 2011 @ 12:47 pm

    It’s totally natural. And as a mom who does it. I must say, I don’t mind a bit hearing other moms brag a little, as long as they aren’t blatantly saying that their kids is better than anyone else’s.

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  18. February 7, 2011 @ 12:54 pm

    My rule on bragging about my kids – it has to be solicited, like the person I’m talking to must ask about my kids before I start, and then I counter that with a question about herself and her kids. And then it becomes a loving exchange of information about what we love about our kids, and how we feel being their moms.

    But of course, I brag about my kids in my blog unsolicited. It is MY blog afterall, and just like other kids, my kids are awesome too. But I keep it realistic and just really stating a fact. And I focus more on how I FEEL about my kids’ milestones – that mostly, I am happy and proud of them, because I love them so much.

    I think bragging becomes obnoxious if it is unsolicited, over-the-top, one-sided and competitive. When other moms or parents becomes obnoxious like that, I shut up and drift away. It is pointless to have a conversation with them.

    You have great discussions here. I’m a new follower. (And you DON’T HAVE to follow me back, really!)

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  19. February 7, 2011 @ 1:08 pm
    Judy

    I think it is a wonderful thing to show pride in your child’s accomplishments regardless of the age. I do find it obnoxious when people go on and on without every asking about the wonderful things the other person’s child is doing or just give a disinterested comment and keep on talking. For some people, it’s all about them and your child is just a place holder in the conversation. My point is that, if you are going to extol the wonderful accomplishments of your child, be sure and allow the other person to tell you about their child and show genuine interest. As a mother and now a grandmother I have always tried to do that. I find the overly bragging and obnoxious mothers I knew in the years past, have now become the some annoying grandmothers. If you find that you run into these kinds of women, just don’t even discuss the children. You can never get any satisfaction from them. By the way, I really love this topic and think that you really nailed it as far as what moms feel!

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  20. February 7, 2011 @ 1:09 pm

    I talk about my kids a lot – there are a lot of them! With #5 on her way, I tend to field a number of questions on “how do you do…get you house clean, a shower, grocery shop” or their behavior (good in public, monsterous at home) – pple mostly ask when we’re in public ;) And I like hearing about other peoples’ kids. They are intersting little creatures, you know?
    The one time I think it is down right annoying to have someone go on and on about Jr’s accomplishments is when it comes as a response to someone else’s concern. IE. “my baby is 11 mos old and not sleeping thru the night” with “Oh, well, Billy has slept thru the night since he was 2wks old, I think it is bc he is so intellectually stimulated during the day/bc we maintain such a peaceful home/we had the baby whisper on staff for a week.” There are times when talking about kids turns into one-upmanship and can be so unkind. That is when I am not ok hearing about your incredibly advanced child.

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