Edge of seventeen

Edge of Seventeen - Why it's both painful and beautiful to watch a child get older

Actually, she’s on the edge of turning just one, but what’s sixteen years give or take when you’re a mother?

Sometimes I feel like I am encapsulated within a snow globe. A pair of large hands have given my world a good shake, and the memories—like fleeting crystal flakes—dance in and out of my grasp.

And the days go by like a strand in the wind. — Stevie Nicks

In four days this sweet and spirited baby girl will be a 1-year-old. Heart? Commence breaking into a million little pieces.

Of course, I am sitting alone as I write this sob-story. Kara is in bed, and I am staring at a photo of her sparkling little smile.

I am reliving the memories of her amazing birth, and of course, the scenes from the last year click by in my brain like the slides in a plastic viewfinder.

Luckily, she’ll wake up in the morning, and the Mommy-heartache I feel now—so strong I’m sure it might overwhelm me—will be washed away by one sure fact: my little girl is flourishing—and there is really nothing more beautiful than that.

Even though it means that with each giggle and flutter of long dark lashes, she inches closer to becoming an actual big girl—and someday, a woman.

Edge of Seventeen - Why it's both painful and beautiful to watch a child get older

This isn’t the birthday post.

Well, maybe it’s part one of the birthday post, but I have so much more to say about this little girl and about her amazing first year.

I feel like I have a lot of making up to do when it comes to documenting Kara’s milestones. So much of my pregnancy with her is a blur due to my severe morning sickness, and so much of her first six months or so are equally fuzzy thanks to her unrelenting colic.

It’s a big week in these parts. My birthday is December 13th, Kara’s is December 14th, and my father’s is December 15th.

I love this ornery little beauty more and more every day, and I would endure the morning sickness and the colic, and every insignificant little ache and pain that comes along with motherhood all over again, without question.

Being a mom isn’t always easy, but it’s always, always worth it.

Now, tell me this post didn’t make Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks start playing in your head? You’re welcome!


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