Dear Crissy

Overcoming mom guilt

When I realize how few photos I’ve taken of Evan lately, I have an intense sensation of guilt that starts in my stomach, and rises up, eventually giving me a lump in my throat that just-nearly makes me want to cry.

So, why don’t I bust out my camera and take some pictures? Well, I’ve tried, but between his new toddler attitude (and speed, most of the pictures are justs an Evan-blur) and my constant business as of late, I’ve just been one huge #momfail when it comes to taking photos of my kid. My guilt is further compounded by the glaring fact that I make a living taking photos, so yeah, I feel pretty awful about it.

Evan turned 16-months-old a few days ago, and that alone has really amplified my feelings of regret for not taking more photos. It is so heartbreakingly painful to see your child grow so quickly. In the same breath, it is the most beautiful sight you will ever behold to watch them mature and learn new things. The emotions that come with motherhood are so complicated, and while I may not be articulating this as eloquently as I would like, I’m pretty sure that my mom-readers know where I’m coming from.

I am going to make every effort to be better about taking photos of Evan in the coming months, and if nothing else, at least capture some photos with my phone. I know, phone-photos are not ideal, but sometimes it’s the most convenient way for me to capture those fleeting moments, and ultimately, that’s the most important thing.

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11 Comments

  1. Hanan — December 7, 2010 @ 4:00 am (#)

    Girl, wait till you have another child…it get’s worse!

    Reply

  2. Deb Leluga — December 7, 2010 @ 6:13 am (#)

    When I feel guilty about not taking enough photos, I think about how few photos my parents had of me and my sister in comparison to what I have taken of my son…that makes me feel better…lol!

    We are very lucky to have the convenience of the phone to capture those moments we otherwise would have missed, so don’t worry that they’re not the best quality :)

    Reply

  3. Ellen — December 7, 2010 @ 6:15 am (#)

    Goodness he is growing so fast- even the difference between the pic you posted and the header is amazing.
    Evan has such beautiful eyes!

    Reply

  4. Chrissy — December 7, 2010 @ 10:25 am (#)

    He’s a cutie, for sure. You’ll be amazed how quickly the time passes! My son is 20 and literally, it seems like yesterday he was your son’s age. I don’t know where they time goes.

    Reply

  5. Kim — December 7, 2010 @ 12:19 pm (#)

    Do you plan on having a second child? LOL That is all I have to say! It took us about 5 months to even get some pics up on the wall of my daughter! LOL And they were to replace the ones of my son when he was 4 months old (who is 2 and a half now)! LOL It'[s a sad reality!

    Reply

  6. Lindsay — December 7, 2010 @ 1:21 pm (#)

    I feel this same guilt – Not so much about taking pictures, but about printing them and organizing them in some way. If my computer were to crash tomorrow, I would lose about a year’s worth of priceless photos.

    Reply

    • Lindsey — December 7th, 2010 @ 5:25 pm

      Me too! I can’t get my act together. The ones that are printed are only about 1/8 organized, the rest thrown loosey goosey in a box.

  7. Jack — December 7, 2010 @ 2:10 pm (#)

    We bought a new camera for Chanukah specifically because of this. They change overnight and it is impossible to keep up, so the camera and Flip work to help us capture moments in time.

    Reply

  8. Rebekah T — December 7, 2010 @ 2:50 pm (#)

    If it makes you feel any better…you are not the only one. I think photographers (me being one too) are the worst at getting pictures of their own family. We are too busy taking pictures of other families. It’s like being a chef as a profession…when you get home the last thing you want to do is cook again for the family. :) As long as we are making a conscious effort to try harder at home I think we will all be okay. Evan know you love him. :)

    Reply

  9. Christine — December 7, 2010 @ 3:59 pm (#)

    I had to laugh at this article esp when you said you wanted to cry about not taking enough pictures it shows first time mom =). I don’t have a ton of pictures of any of my kids and it doesnt make me feel like I’m missing anything. Don’t feel like a failure because in one moment a fire or some other event could destroy all those photos. At least you’ll have the memories and those don’t go away they may get a lil bit blurry but are still there.

    Reply

  10. Lindsey — December 7, 2010 @ 5:23 pm (#)

    I find myself feeling the same way, we took literally hundreds of pictures of Otto in the first month. And maybe 20 in the past month. But we moms of toddlers (my guy is 23 months) have to give ourselves a break about something, sometime, or we’ll all have heart attacks and cry! Plus, the small ones are interacting more and more, so it’s not easy like before to snap 10 pics of them looking sweetly looking up at you, when they’re a blur or asking you to come play in the dirt with them or something. Does your Evan find the camera annoying? I know Otto does and sometimes when I say, “stop, smile!” (or whatever) he turns away and says “no”! Anyways, I totally feel you but you obviously adore your lil guy & take pics when you can. No guilt allowed :)

    Reply

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