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25,203When The Kids Were Little *
Think of all the times you’ve heard someone start a story with the words, “When the kids were little…”
I can hear those words repeating in my head. I’ve heard them from my grandmother, from my mother, and really, from most people I have conversed with who have children. There just seem to be so many memorable moments attached to that period of time, when our kids are young.
Last night, I made no less than 300 trips around our kitchen table with colicky little Kara in my arms. Do you want to know where 300 trips around the kitchen table gets you? Nowhere — fast. It did, however, calm her crying for a brief period of time, giving Evan an opening to whine for a drink of water for 10 minutes straight. It makes it nice when he can do his complaining without having to compete with the baby’s screams.
Yesterday was probably up there in the top 5 most stressful days as a parent that I have experienced, which makes me cringe at myself a little, since the only real problems were pretty insignificant in the scheme of life.
In fact, complaining about my healthy, happy, beautiful children in any capacity makes me feel like kicking myself in the teeth on one hand. On the other hand, yeah, I was on the verge of a mini-breakdown by the time my husband came home from work.
So, I keep hearing this phrase, “When the kids were little.” I hear it whispered softly in the back of my mind, and then I see myself twenty years from now, with a look of longing on my face, beginning a story with, “When the kids were little…”
I live a life filled with joy, tears, love, frustration, laughter and struggle. It is all of those things, and I can never be sure what tomorrow will bring. Motherhood is unpredictable, but one thing never changes. I love my kids. I love them so big and so strong that I am surprised they are not crushed by the weight of that love. Even when I want to run out of my house screaming, I still love them.
I know that these are the days that will occupy a hug part of my memories forever. I will look back on my life, and these days, when the kids are little, will be days that I ache for. I can already feel that ache, and the kids haven’t even grown up.
When you have a baby, the fast forward button on the remote of your life is superglued, duct taped, and nailed down. It is happening — fast.
Feel it. See it. Breathe it. Remember it.
Dear Kara — Month 1
Edge of Seventeen
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“When you have a baby, the fast forward button on the remote of your life is superglued, duct taped, and nailed down. It is happening — fast. Feel it. See it. Breathe it. Remember it.”
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this, Crissy!
This is why, when my son throws a tantrum, or I feel a little bored, or people encourage me to work to “get away” from mommyhood for a bit, I think to myself “it’s passing so quickly”…I wouldn’t miss a single moment of not, not a tantrum, not a slow moment sitting and watching the same dvd again for the 12th time. I don’t want to miss a moment.
I know, it really does go so quickly, we’re living the best years of our lives! :)
I’m an empty nester, with a 21 year old son who moved out about 6 months ago. Just today, in fact, I told someone how hard it is on me, not knowing how – or even IF – I’m supposed to mother him nowadays, and not knowing exactly who I am anymore.
I often say “when he was little”, and amazingly it seems like just yesterday. I can’t even begin to tell you how quickly the years will fly by. Once minute, Evan will be turning 5 and you’ll blink your eyes, and suddenly he’ll be graduating from high school. In the BLINK of an eye.
I know it’s hard. Boy, do I know it. But I’d give anything to have those days back. Treasure them while you can, even the rough ones. One day, even the hardest days will be bittersweet memories.
So true – the phrase “time flies” never meant anything to me until I had children. Now I really know what it means!
This is very, very true. As mother to a 23 year old and a 11 year old, I can say this: Live every moment with your kids to the fullest. One day you will look back and realize that it all flew by so fast.
It’s a beautiful post.
I have a lot of those moments now that my kids are 10 & 11
I needed a tissue, because that’s exactly how I feel right now with my3 year old and 3 month old. Sigh. I think of the same phrase from people when I’m holding that crying infant for what seems like forever, with aching arms. Hug :)
This is beautifully written and captures a Mother’s love perfectly!! I love when you said “I love them so big and so strong that I am surprised they are not crushed by the weight of that love.” It’s an amazing thing, that love.
My mom tells me ALL the time, “Enjoy this time – because when they’re older you’re going to miss it.” I’ve assured her countless times I’m not going to miss it – because so far, the toddler years with all 3 of my kids have been rough! I will definitely cherish how they were when they were small – but I think we’ll get along much better when they’re older and able to reason better! :D
I LOVE this part: Feel it. See it. Breathe it. Remember it.
*I’m going to do just that today!
Serena, I enjoy your honesty.
I too love my kids enough to “crush” them with the weight! But the day in and day out of mothering is without a doubt exhausting! When it comes down to it there is no way we can enjoy “every moment” of motherhood! So…enjoy what you can and and don’t stress about it!
Thank you for the reminder. I’ve been gettingso frustrated with my toddler, like tonight when she spilled milk on the bed. I love her so much, but it’s a little crazy right now since I’ve gone back to work after my 12 week maternity leave for her sister. She whined non-stop most of Sunday. On the one hand, I wonder if she’s coming down with something. On the other, I just wish she’d stop. Either way, I hope she knows (and I try to tell her) that she means the world to me.
oh, thank you so much for this short, sweet reminder. love, love, love this post.
My kids are grown and I find myself saying Time Flies A lot. Enjoy them while they’re young.
They really do grow up fast. I would give anything NOT to go thru the teen years. If I see one more eye roll I’ll think I’ll scream. I still have one that looks at me with love (Anika age 3) but sadly her day will come too.
i have a 15 mo and am pregnant with our second. i’ve witnessed my sister’s kids (6.5, 4.5 and 2.5) grow so fast and i’ve seen how fast this past 15 months have gone with our precious emma. i used to wish to fast forward til the kids are more independent and we can do more outings. but now i don’t wish for it. i wish for time to slow down each night as i rock emma. she’ll never be this size and age again. so even in the bad moments i remind myself that they’re temporary and will pass. but i don’t want them to pass too quickly – even if it means i’m gagging in the middle of a gross diaper change. 8-)
As an empty nester myself, I can attest to the fact that it is hard when the children are little, but, as you say, in the blink of an eye, the years pass by and they leave home. I can honestly say that I bawled like a baby when my son left for the service. One saving grace to this process though is that you usually become grandparents. What a joy in life that is and my feelings simply cannot be expressed in words. Treasure the moments either good or bad when your children are young, but remember that they bring many moments of joy to you even in their adult lives.
Very well said! I have a 3 year old daughter and 16 month old son. Every once in a while I’ll catch my self thinking, “I can’t wait till he/she can walk/talk” or “I can’t wait till they’re in school and I can actually clean during the day”….and then I think to myself how foolish and selfish that is, and I already miss the days when they were little. The 3 years, 4 months, and 1 day that I have been a Mommy have flown by, and I don’t want to waste one second wishing the time away, or feeling sorry for myself because I can’t do something trivial that I want to do. So what if I have dishes in the sink, and there’s toys and who knows what strewn about the living room at the end of the day? At least I can say that I have spent time with my kids and haven’t missed one moment of their day. Thank you for this reminder!!