We’re 12 days into 2015, and instead of feeling inspired and motivated to meet my goals, I’m sitting in front of my computer tonight feeling all sorts of inadequate. Wait, wasn’t I just writing a hopeful and happy post a couple days ago? Yes, yes I was.
It’s a mix of insecurity, envy and frustration—a swirling jumble of wishes and wants and general irritation that I can’t do everything well. In fact, there are very few things that I do really well, and I’m not sure why those aren’t good enough in my mind.
As much as I would like to say that I’m completely above feeling pangs of envy when I look at other blogs or Instagram accounts, I’m totally not. I mean, I guess at some point I just have to come to terms with the fact that I’ll never live in an all-white house where every single room has perfect lighting and is completely devoid of clutter. Seriously, I need to hang it up because no.
And then, right in the middle of my ridiculous self-doubt, I feel a strong urge to slap myself in the face. Look at the time I am wasting and the negative thoughts that I’ve allowed to infect my mind.
My life is imperfect. My house is a mess. I do not do all my shopping at our local farmer’s market. I definitely don’t do everything well and I struggle through times of insecurity and even self-loathing.
I also don’t have a nice neat bow to wrap this post up with. Life is flux, it’s undulating and I think as long as we can navigate and work our way through the negative moments, it’s all good.