Dear Crissy

Coping with baby growing up

I spent almost 30-years of my life being completely self-focused. My life revolved around the urges to find love, to find financial security, and to find a fulfilling career path. I was so tuned in to my own needs, wants, aches, pains, successes, and failures, that I often felt somewhat let down by life. No matter how good, or bad, my life became, I grew more dissatisfied as I continued into my middle and late twenties. I was by no means miserable, however, I did feel like something was missing.

Then, it happened. I endured 9 months of a difficult pregnancy, and 11-months-ago today, I gave birth to Evan. Having him in my life has been a profoundly beautiful experience, and without completely using up all of my material for what will no doubt be an epic FIRST BIRTHDAY post next month, let’s just say that being his mother has made me a happy and fulfilled woman.

All of that said, how in the world are we here, at 11 months? The heartache of seeing your baby transform from newborn to KID virtually overnight is incredible. I am so excited to see him grow, but I will be perfectly honest, there are parts of this experience that make me want to crawl in a hold and completely deny the fact that a whole year has slipped by. A whole year. I’ve done everything that I could to be a constant, involved, loving, obsessive-photo-taking presence in his life, but i still feel sad because those moments are gone forever.

Being a parent really makes you aware of your own mortality, and of the fact that we are all moving forward and growing older, and there isn’t a thing we can do about it but try to fully enjoy every fleeting second.

    8 Comments on “Coping with baby growing up”

  1. It is difficult seeing our little one growing up. Our daughter just turned two, and I miss the baby that she was. At the same time, it's so wonderful seeing her grow into a little girl.

  2. As a mom of kids from 24 to 3 I can tell you the time starts to speed up even more as they get older (sorry to break it to you) so you are wise to savor each precious moment.

    Besides these moments of pure love and bliss will sustain you later when you want to kill them as teenagers…God's little trick for perpetuation the species! Kim

  3. In April of 2006 we hosted Easter at our house. My oldest was 11 months old. As I was preparing a bottle, I noticed that I had to open the last can of formula. I instantly cried–uncontrollably. It was difficult and every day I wish that I could just freeze moments in time. Savor each second!

  4. I know what you mean. It seems like only yesterday my son was born but he will be 2 on August 13th. Its amazing how fast they grow but bitter sweeet cause there growing up.

  5. My oldest starts kindergarten in the fall, my middle baby is starting to read and my baby just started talking in sentences. Trust me, everyone milestone is bittersweet. And wonderful.

  6. I think it might be easier for me than some, as I have a {newly} 3 y/o, a 22mo/o , and a 3m/o. When the 3 year old turned 3 though it was rough… I just reminded myself that one stage has passed but the next stage is here and it will be just as exciting and memorable. {That's why I LOVE taking photos!}

    I miss the baby that she was, but couldn't imagine my life without the little girl she is now! <3

    • Aw, well, maybe I just need to have a couple more babies over the next year or two so I'm not so sad as Evan grows up? :) Not sure about that yet! haha.

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