Dear Crissy

Being a SAHM is the best decision I’ve ever made

The other night while chatting with my mom on Facebook, I told her that I was feeling a little sad because Evan is growing up so quickly.

“He is growing like a weed,” she said.

Happy Kid

I then told her, that while I definitely have those emotional MOMents as he continues to change right before my eyes, I also feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to be home with him every single day.

She said, “I know, it is the best decision you’ve ever made.”

Happy Baby

Being a SAHM really is the best decision I have ever made, and it was one that I was absolutely firm on for years before having my kid. I realize that many women work outside the home because they want to, and many because they need to. I understand both.

Beautiful Baby Photo

I was raised by two parents who both worked outside the home, so I know that it’s not the worst scenario by a long shot, but wow, I feel so LUCKY to be able to spend my days with my kid.

On another note, Evan is never happier than when he is outside, toddling around the yard with a stick. Is the love for sticks a universal trait among little boys, or what?

Happy Child

Are you a SAHM/WAHM, or do you work outside the home?

    65 Comments on “Being a SAHM is the best decision I’ve ever made”

  1. I feel very lucky as well, to be able to stay home and work-from-home. It’s a very tough balance, but the best of both world’s for us. I get to be with them all day and then work for a few hours while they sleep :) I’m so glad to not miss all these beautiful moments! I know that when they are all grown up I’m not going to find myself saying “I wish I worked more so that we would have been more comfortable financially”, but I know that if I wasn’t home I would regret it without a doubt.

  2. I got to be a SAHM for about 14 yrs, but then I found a great compromise for our family. My kids were older and didn’t need me around as much as when they were little, I wanted a little more time in the company of adults, and I wanted to contribute money for getting our debts paid off. My husband was wonderful and supported whatever I decided to do. I figured that a direct sales company would be perfect for me (able to choose my own hours, but can work more if I need to make more money). I went through at least a half dozen different popular ones, but nothing seemed to work for me until I found Premier. These are some of the best people that I have ever met! The company donates over 90% of their profits to charity, which made me feel great about being a part of it. They pay way more than any other direct sales company that I’ve seen, which is always nice! lol And there are no quotas! That was always a big one for me, since I would always seem to be short with my orders for other companies. They are generous to their jewelers and their hostesses. And the very best part is the other ladies (and lots of significant others)! No matter how well you do, they offer LOTS of support, encouragement, help and training! They have made me a more outgoing and confident person. I just feel so blessed to have found my perfect balance in working and being home!

  3. I work out of the home. We need the two incomes. I really want to be home with my kids though. They are both in school now but I feel like I miss out on so much. I am working hard to make it a reality some day soon though. :)

  4. Funny, I couldn’t imagine staying home with my first born (daughter). But with my son, knowing he’s my last baby, I want to spend every moment I can with him.

    The other day my son found a water gun for the first time (we don’t have any sort of weaponry at toys in our house except for this one gun). He immediately picked it up and started making sounds suggesting he was shooting us. How did he know that?

    BTW, these pic are fantastic.

  5. I work outside of the home. Without hubby and I both working we would be out on the streets.

    I hate it. I want to be able to stay home with my boy so badly, its just not feasible.

  6. Thanks for a great article! I am a semi-stay at home mom! I work 30 hours a week but was going to quit when I was pregnant so they let me start working at home – it is so nice to be home with the kids (yet hard to get as much done and concentrate fully on my work, or fully on the kids for that matter!) Glad you are able to be a SAHM – I am sure Evan just loves it!

  7. I to am a sahm – and am loving it. I thought I would work but when it came time to look at caregivers – i just couldn’t. It was a huge leap of faith for my husband and I finacially and ultimately in many other ways. About a month after I quit, my husband was laid off. We were determined that I stay at home. God provided for him to do what he has always loved – building/remodeling and I am still at home (7 years later). Now I’m a sahhsm (stayathomehomeschoolingmom!!!!)

  8. I agree. It’s a struggle sometimes but there are so many ways to cut corners and figure it out. In the end the most valuable thing is being able to hug my little guy or carry him around in the middle of the day just because I feel like it.

  9. I couldn’t agree more. Shortly after becoming a SAHM my husband lost his job, so I became a WAHM. But even if you have calls to make and meetings to go to, being able to have my little guy with me the whole time makes such a difference. I would not have it any other way. I’m so grateful that we get to spend our days together. In no time they will be in school, and we’ll be even more grateful that we had this time with them!

  10. Yep I’m a SAHM too! I feel very lucky to be able to stay home with the kids & watch them grow. I went back to work after my 1st two children turned 2 years old but once I had my 3rd child I’ve been a SAHM.

  11. I love this post. I am getting married in October, and I’ve made it very clear to my fiance that I want to stay at home with our children. It’s something that’s always been really important to me too. I don’t want my kids to spend more time in a day with a caregiver than with me. I think it’s totally a personal decision though. For me, I don’t have a career that I’m absolutely in love with. I don’t have a phd in my field. for me, it’s always been about someday being a mom. glad to see you reinforcing my want :)

  12. Hi Crissy,

    So happy for you. I wish I could do the same, but financially it is so tight for us even with both of us working. I am always amazed at those who are able to live on one income and not struggle financially. I hope to one day be able to quit my job and it is still a dream that I hold on to.


  13. I like being able to work from home and hang out with my baby too. Very blessed to be able to also!

    And WHY DO THEY HAVE TO GROW? D: *Sigh* but they do keep getting more entertaining and fun at every stage!

  14. I work outside the home…no other options right now…but my hearts desire is to be home and I pray one day it will happen. My heart pretty much breaks daily. But God knows.

  15. I’m currently a working-outside-the-home momma, but will be a SAHM when my girl is born in June. I’m pretty sure my kids are going to be the best “co-workers” ever! ;)

  16. I know it was yesterdays discussion, but I just had to chime in. I recently read slates question of the year for 2010 and had to post it. It doesn’t prove why or how boys like sticks, or why sticks almost always become something to shoot or Mame with, but it does try to answer the question of why boys like sticks.

    It’s worth a read:

  17. I work outside the home. I wish I could be a WAHM but I fear I would not be very focused. I would like to have something eventually where I could be at home MORE often at least.

  18. underappreciated SAHM

  19. I have been a working mom for 4 years, but I quit my job last week to stay home. woohoo!

  20. I am a stay at home mom! I have been for almost 5 years. I have an almost 5 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. I nanny part time and get to bring my kids along with me, for some extra cash.

    AND luckily, my husband is home a lot too! He works as a videoaugrapher in NYC but is only out of the house 2-3 days a week, tops. So we get LOTS of family time. Good thing we get along so good! And it gives us a nice chance to give the kids one on one. My hubby will take our son to the store while I play tea party with our daughter one day etc etc

    I LOVE it!

    I can’t believe I am the mother of an almost FIVE year old!!!

  21. What a sweet post! I grew up in a household where both parents worked as well. It makes me sad sometimes when my mom talks about how I’m doing a great job with the kids and that she regrets being too busy with work to do much with us. Becoming a stay-at-home mom is by far one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. :)
    On a side note, Evan is such a cutie and yes…boys love sticks. My son also loved shredding innocent plants by hitting them with sticks. My mother’s poor ferns…lol

  22. We have given up a lot of “Things” for me to be able to stay home. We don’t have a Huge nice House or many Fancy things but we have a Very Happy Family. I tell my husband Often that he is our Hero for working SO hard so that I can stay home with our girl’s. I couldn’t ask for anything more in life than to be a SAHM, I feel Very Blessed!!

  23. Yeah! I’m glad I’ve been able to make the transition to stay at home mom. Its not quite as easy as I’m sure it is for you because to do so I have to watch other kids to help pay for our grocery budget, but it was eating at me when my son was a newborn, and I quit my office job with very good pay after 6 weeks. I couldn’t let someone else get all the smiles and giggles and tickles. It truly is a gift to be able to stay home with your child in this economy.

  24. It sounds like you made a great decision. We’re fortunate my wife has been able to stay at home, too. (For a while, when I was out of work, our roles reversed, and I was a stay-at-home dad. Some of my best memories.) As for boys and sticks, I think that one is universal. Our 10-year-old still plays with any stick he can find in the yard. In fact, earlier this winter, he brought a giant stick (small tree limb really) home from school and “planted” it in the snow outside our house. I look forward to our younger son (17 months) keeping up that tradition.

  25. My wife and I are in a situation where we both most work, we found a grand compromise: She works day shift and I care for Max during the day. I work nights and she cares for him then. We both work and both have plenty of one on one action with our child

  26. I am a stay at home mom. It was never a question for me- I’ve always wanted to have kids and stay home with them. It’s the best!

  27. I work outside the home… we can’t afford for me NOT to, and until we’re able to bring in more money, no more babies :( I really REALLY want another – I want Goose to have a sibling (or two?) also – but I’ve definitely had a bit of baby fever lately, which stinks, as I’m stuck in a job where I’m taken advantage of and walked all over, and haven’t been able to get out yet… I’m not sure at all that I’m cut out to be a SAHM (I am terrible at getting any housework, cooking, freelance work, ANYTHING done while home alone with Goose) but I often wish I could either be a WAHM or work only part-time… *sigh* oh look! it’s 5pm!! time to go get Goose!! :D YAY!

  28. You made a good choice!

    What a cutie. LOVE the green jacket!!

  29. I too am a SAHM and it is wonderful. My son is now 13 months old and everyday I wonder where all the days have gone, how he’s growing so quickly. I sometimes find myself looking at old photos of him and get teary eyed. I would be a real mess if I wasn’t able to spend my days with him. I am so blessed to have him in my life and to be able to witness all the moments from his little smile when I walk in his room in the mornings to his infectious laugh as I crawl up the stairs after him to tuck him in bed for the evening. Gosh, I love this kid!

  30. I love staying at home too! My 2yr old boy loves rocks instead of sticks. I find them in his pockets all the time! I’ve even washed a few in the laundry! I’m ready for warm weather, I already have 3 swimming trunks for him! I imagine we are going to be outside in the water all summer :)

  31. Thanks for offering such a sweet description of your decision, and one that isn’t judgmental of Moms who make other choices. Having children was, without a doubt, the best decision I have ever made. I work part time, from home, and my girls are in daycare part time. I love pursuing my career as a social worker, writer, and academic, while being able to pick up and drop off, be with my girls when they are sick, and spend lots of time with them in the afternoons, evenings, and the days they don’t go to daycare! (BTW, your son is adorable! What great images!)

  32. Staying home with my kids was the best decision I ever made as well. I grew up a latchkey kid and I never want that for my own. Kudos to you for making a great decision.

  33. I am a SAHM and although it can be frustrating not having my own “thing” (thank goodness for blogging and Etsy!!) I would not change it for the WORLD! I honestly would rather be DIRT poor then miss these moments that are flying by. My little guy is almost 1.5 and I feel like I am looking at his baby pictures, crying and thinking of when he is a teenager and won’t “need” me anymore..I am getting teary right now! Mom’s are such blubberers! (is that a word?) I completely agree that I adore every single moment of this boy’s life, such a blessing!!!

  34. I was blessed with the opportunity to stay at home with my children. The time goes by very quickly as my daughter recently got married. Now my son just bought his own home. We only have one son and a dog left at home. Cherish your moments with your children! They are the best gifts from God. After my children were out of school I worked in accounting for a short time. Now I once again enjoy being a WAHM as I have a home-based Avon business. I love it as it gives me flexibility and an additional income. The women I meet are wonderful. Check out my blog post! Thanks Crissy for a great post!

  35. I wrote about this in February as well ( I also feel so lucky to be home with my precious daughter. I can say it is the best two years of my life! It hasn’t been easy financially, but worth every penny we don’t have. :)

  36. Yup, I’m a proud Army wife, SAHM *and* WAHM mommy of two (2.5 and 7mo)…it’s tough juggling between the kids, hubby, the dog, and blogging, but I’m living my dream – working at home, making money doing what I love to do, and staying home with my babies :)

  37. I am also truly blessed to be able to work from home and watch my little guy (soon to be 2 little guys) grow and thrive! I understand that not everyone has that option but it was something that my hubby and I discussed before even having children and it was important to us that I be able to be here. I can’t imagine any other way and am loving it!

  38. I work outside the home. Mostly because I need to but I also love my job and love working. I think that even if we didn’t need the money, I would still work. Maybe not full-time but I would still work.

  39. I am a part-time working Mommy. I’ve been on maternity leave with baby #2 and return back to my part-time schedule in two weeks and it is ripping my heart out. Many tell me I have the best of both worlds since I only work Tues, Weds and Thurs each week. I do get the adult interaction *and* four straight days with my babies, but I know there are so many friends of mine who are SAHMs that live near me, that I could still find that adult interaction if I were home. Regardless, my husband and I are doing the things we need to do in order to make my dream a reality in a few years – I just hope we make it there. How amazing you get to be with your son. :)

  40. I worked at home for a year and a half with my now 4-yr old. I worked from home with my youngest, now 1, for a year and just recently starting working outside of the home 2 days a week for a contract job. I’ve found that my happy medium is outside of the home SOME is best for all of us. The additional income has allowed us to breathe a bit easier, the kids miss me, and I miss them which makes our days together even more cherished but not nearly as hard as being away for 5 days full-time like I was before.

    They grow so fast, and you’ll notice WHEN you have your 2nd…it goes even faster. Being home with them is certainly a joy and a blessing and I couldn’t agree with you more about being lucky. Because you will never get this time back.

    And yes, all boys love sticks…and mud :)

  41. My children are now 12, 8 and 5, and because I know who I am – my gifts and flaws – I knew being a SAHM was not for me. I was just not created that way, and I realize I may be in the minority, and that’s okay. Early on in my career, I realized that I needed flexibility in my schedule, so I negotiated it at work, and I know how blessed I have been along the way. Now that all three of my children are in school, they really need their Mom home more because life just demands it… so, I have again negotiated and I have been working only 2 days/week since 1/1/11.
    As Moms, we don’t need to put ourselves in one box or another… and we certainly shouldn’t think that ALL Moms NEED to be SAHMs… we were all created differently, with different talents and needs… and like I said, we can adjust along the way as we need to or as our kids need us to.
    I blogged about the crossraods in my life here –>

    Thanks for letting me share!

  42. I always said when I had children, I would be a SAHM. And here I am at work replying to this… it took me nearly a full year of letting go of the bitterness that comes from being a Working Mom who’s working because she has to- and now that I’m seeing the big picture, I just try to focus on the good that comes from me working and Lovie being in daycare. Because there really is good in being a WM… though I’d do just about anything to be a SAHM because when people ask what I do, I always tell them “I’m a mother.” Because that’s who I am now- working mom or not- I’m a mother. :)

  43. It’s definitely a hard, and sometimes frustrating job! :)

  44. I’m a very proud SAHM. My husband grew up with his mom at home, while my mom had to work (sometimes 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet). From the time that my husband and I got married we always agreed that if our financial situation allows for it, I would stay home with the kids, get to be the room mom, do all that stuff.
    So far it’s the best decision we made. I got a college degree. I had a job that I liked, but not a career I loved. So now I get the chance to see my son make friends, and learn new things everyday and I am getting to do all my fun stuff like photography, cooking on the side and not feel like I’m taking that time away from the family.

  45. consider yourself very fortunate. Many of us would LOVE to be able to stay at home with our child(ren), but this economy does not necessarily lend itself to that.

    • Katie, oh, I know. My ability to stay at home is actually month-to-month, and there are times when I think I’ll need to join the workforce again to ensure we are well-enough financially. You do what you gotta do, for sure! Thanks for commenting.

  46. I decided to become a SAHM when my baby girl was born. I agonized over the decision (see my post here: because I’m a very career-focused person, but it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I may go back to work eventually, but for now, I’m enjoying every second at home.

  47. It is the best decision I ever made, too. But unlike you, I was dead set AGAINST it my whole life, until my daughter came along. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. But after she was born, I couldn’t stand the thought of being anything else. And we were fortunate that it worked for us financially.

  48. You are indeed lucky and smart to SAH with Evan. I wish I was able to be home with my little guy. Fortunately, my husband gets to be with him a few days a week, and my aunt watches him the other days. They both lavish him with love and attention, so that lessens the guilt a little. My guy will be 20 months next week and I can totally relate to how they change soooo fast and little boys do love sticks….and ROCKS. We find rocks everywhere these days. :)

  49. Crissy,

    I absolutely agree, being a SAHM is one of the best experiences of my life! And yes, collecting sticks IS a universal little boy trait. ;)

  50. As a SAHM, I completely agree with you about feeling so lucky to be around for my boys while they are growing up. I know that our family is blessed to have a dad who can provide for us and allow me to stay home. The time has passed so quickly – I look at my 11 year old and realize oh my, only seven more years and nine for my youngest.

  51. I am a SAHM and even on my worst days, there is no place I would rather be. No other place that I should be.

  52. I have been a SAHM for going on 8 years now. I have had ups and downs along the way but I have been able to enjoy each stage of my kids lives. My oldest is now 13 and my youngest is 3. I am currently looking for a part time evening job to have as my “Me” time away from this kids. While it has always been a priority for me to be home for the kids all day in case of emergencies at school etc, I feel that it is a good time to start moving on. While my older three were ok when I was not around that is not the case with my 3 year old. He has a hard time even when I make a quick run to the store. Maybe it is because I have so many kids (lol) that I feel the need to take this route but in the end I am still home when they need me and in my place while I go to work will be my husband. He says that when I take seasonal jobs outside the home he feels he can spend more quality time with the kids than when I am around. Plus I tend to be happier and have more motivation. I think it is a blessing to be able to chose when and if you want to work while your children are small. I am very glad I can.

  53. I’m a SAHM, which was the plan…but not quite this early. ;) My husband is in the army, and currently deployed in Afghanistan, so I was going to work until he got home. My job, on the other hand, had a different idea… Oh well, this was the plan anyway! It just started a little early.

  54. I am also a stay at home mom, I love it on most days. Unfortunately I think I have to trade it for at least a part-time job :/ It’s been almost two years so it’s been great. Hopefully, I will be able to return to it.

  55. I’m a SAHM too, just like you. I’m glad I could be a significant part of both my boys life every single day, every minute and every hour. I also bring them anywhere I go. They are 5yo and 10mos old :) You got a handsome young man over there! He looks great in green..

  56. I’m a SAHM, and I agree with you 100%. It really was the best decision I’ve ever made. I can’t imagine life any other way.

  57. I was so glad we were able to make it work for me to stay home. I was thinking about it while on maternity leave – then my position was eliminated about halfway through..decision made for me!

    I do work part time from home now and I love it… in only 4 months I’m amazed at all I’ve shared with my daughter!

  58. You are a very lucky lady that you are able to stay at home with your son. I wish I was able to stay home with mine. :( I am grateful that I have every summer and holiday to, and cherish every moment.

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